In a world that often subtly (and not so subtly) encourages us to hide our true selves, the act of sharing our personal stories emerges as a beacon of hope and connection.
The importance of sharing our stories hit home for me during a recent conversation.
We kicked off the call with introductions. I started by opening up about living with a limb difference and laying out my journey, hiding and unhiding.
Her response? “I’m so glad you went first. I rarely share this part of my story.”
And just like that, the door swung open.
She dove into her son’s story, their ups and downs with his disability, and how they’ve been navigating this path together.
What started as a typical and somewhat guarded exchange blossomed into something open, something real. You could almost hear the walls coming down, our mutual relief. And in that moment, we were connected by our stories and our truths.
The Fourth Step: Share Your Story
As a reminder, the journey of Unhiding comprises four pivotal steps, the first three of which we covered in previous newsletters.
- Acknowledge What Your Hiding
- Invite Someone Into Your World
- Build Your Community
- Share Your Story
The power of storytelling.
When we hide, we deliberately avoid sharing part of ourselves for fear that someone will judge, criticize, or even reject us; it’s often lonely and exhausting. By sharing our stories, we foster connections and create an environment where the solitude and secrecy of hiding give way to solidarity and support. In this sharing, we find mirrors of our experiences in others, encouraging them, in turn, to embrace their truths.
My interactions, like the one mentioned above, are far from rare. I have heard many stories of hiding, and each one— whether a hidden struggle or an unvoiced dream — echoes a universal longing for acceptance and understanding. The content of the stories varies, but the freedom and relief that come from sharing remain constant. When you share your stories, you build connection.
When you share your story, there’s an excellent chance someone else will see themselves in it and feel more comfortable sharing theirs, allowing them to start on their own journey of unhiding.
Addressing Common Concerns
- Do I Have to Share Publicly?
- Can You Unhide Too Much?
- What happens when it’s just not safe to unhide?
Do I have to share publicly?
Nope!
The thought of baring your soul to a crowd isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. And honestly? That’s perfectly okay.
You don’t need to land a TEDx spot or pen a memoir to participate in the art of unhiding. Start small, in your own circle, and let it naturally evolve from there.
Now, I’ll let you in on a little secret: I eventually stepped onto that TEDx stage and even wrote a book about my journey (spoiler: there’s more on the way). But trust me, it didn’t happen overnight. It was a slow burn to get comfortable with the idea. So, take your time—there’s no rush to the spotlight.
Can you unhide too much?
“Is there such a thing as sharing too much?”
This question comes up more often than you’d think. It’s about finding that line in the sand when it comes to opening up—yes, even in the world of unhiding, boundaries exist.
Let’s face it, we’re not aiming for a prime-time reveal (à la Jerry Springer)—no one’s here for a “spill it all” kind of moment. That’s too much for everyone involved.
Unhiding isn’t about oversharing to the point of discomfort; it’s more refined and more purposeful than that.
Think of unhiding as an art form that focuses on shedding the weight of what we’ve been conditioned to see as ‘shameful.’ It’s those parts of us we fear might turn others away. Consider why you are sharing it; is it helpful in building a connection? And here’s the twist: in sharing, we’re not offloading our story onto someone else; it’s about exchange, a conversation that enriches both sides.
So, when you muster the courage to share your story, it’s also about opening your heart to the stories that may come your way. It’s a two-way street filled with mutual respect and understanding. After all, what’s the point of sharing if you’re not ready to embrace the stories of those who are moved to share in return?
What happens when it’s just not safe to unhide?
Let’s face it—the world isn’t always a safe space for everyone to share their truths. And yes, some of us are in a place of privilege when we decide to unhide, a luxury not everyone has. Take, for instance, the transgender community or Jewish students facing challenges on campus; their realities remind us of this harsh truth daily.
So, what’s the best move if you’re in a spot where unhiding feels more risky than liberating? My take? Share, but share wisely. Pick out a few trusted people who get it and support you, and lean into them. It’s about finding those safe harbors where you can be authentically you without the fear of being judged or worse.
Safety comes first, always.
The Rewards of Authentic Connections
Humans are multidimensional, complex, and a little messy. We are also fascinating, curious, and kind. Embracing our multifaceted nature—acknowledging that we are at once flawed and extraordinary—allows us to explore the rich, complex narratives of those around us. Through exploring and sharing our stories, we uncover the true essence of connection and belonging. The rewards are rich and satisfying.
Thanks for reading! In an upcoming UNHIDING newsletter, we will discuss why leaders must unhide and share their stories first to build and strengthen culture. This becomes a crucial element for building retention, engagement, and innovation in the workplace.
Warmest, Ruth
P.S. I recently shared my thoughts on Madonna’s dismissive behavior towards a fan with a disability, sparking a significant conversation within our community. The outpouring of responses highlighted the ongoing relevance of our discussions on respect, inclusion, and empathy. Join us as we continue to explore these crucial themes. I was amazed at the waterfall of comments I got from people. Check it out here.
