Not everyone is going to get you—and that’s okay.
During a recent speaking event, I realized that not everyone is ready to unhide. Some may not see its importance, and others aren’t ready to face the parts of themselves they’ve been hiding.
But here’s the truth: hiding and unhiding are part of a continuum. Some days, we may feel ready to show up fully, while on others, the fear of being seen might pull us back into hiding.
Why hiding is a problem:
Hiding isn’t just about keeping parts of ourselves tucked away—it’s often a learned response. Over time, many of us have trained our brains to fit in and seek approval from others. We start believing that if people like us, we’re safe. But here’s the catch: even a tiny bit of criticism can reinforce that deep desire to hide. It tells us we’re not enough and that it’s safer to stay hidden.
Here’s what hiding does:
· It disconnects us from ourselves and others, making us feel isolated.
· It holds us back from bringing our best ideas and creativity forward because we’re afraid of judgment.
· It keeps us at arm’s length in relationships, putting up walls to protect ourselves from being “found out.”
· It affects how we show up in the workplace, in our communities, and in our relationships—constantly wondering, Do I really belong?
An Invitation to Reflect:
Maybe unhiding isn’t for you right now, and that’s okay, it’s a process. But take a moment to think about someone in your life—on your team, in your family, or in your inner circle—who might be hiding.
Ask yourself:
· What assumptions might I be making about this person that aren’t true?
· How could I offer better support if I knew more about their experience?
· How might I be a better leader, colleague, or friend by creating space for them to unhide?
As we reflect on these questions, it’s important to remember that we often spend so much of our lives trying to fit a mold, to hide the parts of ourselves that feel vulnerable to shame or rejection. But by doing so, we limit our personal growth, keep ourselves from being truly seen, and hold back the world from experiencing the full, unique version of who we are.
Unhiding isn’t just about you—it’s also about creating space for others to be seen.
Take the step for yourself or for someone else.
Warmest, Ruth
PS: Want to discover how unhiding can transform your workplace, leadership, and life? Check out my latest book, Unhide & Seek. Live Your Best Life. Do Your Best Work. Let me know—what kind of hider you are.
