A Moment You Might Recognize
Last month, I sat in a meeting and felt that little push. You know the one.
You feel the nudge. You know you should speak. And then you don’t.
That old voice showed up for me. What if it sounds stupid? What if I am wrong? What if they judge me?
So I stayed quiet. Five minutes later, someone else said almost the same thing. Everyone nodded. And I sat there thinking, this is hiding.
Hiding is deliberately holding back a part of ourselves out of fear of judgment, rejection, or even pity.
It often shows up quietly. Not dramatic. Just the everyday kind that keeps us small.
Two weeks ago, I was in a theater during a talk-back. Same fear. Same voice. But this time, I spoke anyway. People came up afterward wanting to talk and asking about my book. A reminder for me that when we unhide and share even a small part of ourselves, we open the door for connection (and confidence).
Unhiding is ongoing work.
Two Years of Learning and Unlearning
November marks two years of writing this newsletter. Two years of learning from you and hearing what people hide. Two years of learning how much courage it takes to stop, and the freedom you get when you do.
If you are new to this community, welcome. If you have been here along the way, thank you.
This anniversary feels like the right moment to go back to the basics and look at what it really takes to unhide. Because we may unhide in one part of our lives and still hide in another. As someone in the community recently reminded me, unhiding has layers.
And once we notice that, we gain something powerful: choice. Choice to act or a choice to keep what we are hiding tucked away.
Step 1: Acknowledge
Over the following four newsletters, we’ll walk through the four steps of the Unhiding Framework™ from my book Unhide and Seek: Acknowledge, Invite In, Build Community, and Share Your Story.
Step 1.
Unhiding does not require a big reveal. It simply asks you to pause long enough to ask yourself: What’s holding me back from connection, from thriving, from living my best life? How often have I hidden parts of myself to fit in?
When I acknowledged that moment in the meeting, the next meeting looked different. The next time that doubting voice showed up, it was quieter. Because I was aware.
Acknowledgment gives you agency.
Why This Matters at Work
Hiding is more common than we think. Deloitte’s research finds that 60 percent of employees cover or hide parts of their identity at work.
Psychological safety plays a major role. Google’s Project Aristotle found that teams with high psychological safety are 3.5 times more likely to contribute innovative solutions. Microsoft’s research shows similar gains in engagement and performance when people feel safe to speak up.
Naming our hiding is the first step to breaking that cycle. It gives us clarity. And clarity gives us power.
A Place to Start
I invite you to take the first step. Take the Hiding Inventory from Unhide and Seek.
It is a simple reflection tool to help you see what you are hiding and what might be ready to shift.
See This Work in Action
My new speaker reel is ready! It offers a quick look at how hiding and unhiding show up inside organizations and why this work matters now.
Watch the Speaker Reel (under four minutes). And if you think your team or organization is ready for this conversation, feel free to share it or reach out. I would love to explore what this could look like inside your culture.
Coming Next: Step 2. Invite In Just One Person
Why we can’t do this singlehandedly, and who we need beside us. (Hint: there is a cheat sheet that makes this part easier.)
If you want to share your story of hiding or unhiding, you can do that on my website. This community grows because of the stories we tell.
Warmest, Ruth
Thank you for being part of the UNHIDING community.
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